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Joke of the Day
"A termite walks into a bar... and says ""Excuse me, is the bar tender here?"""
Next Joke
"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because number 7 is Luis Suarez, and he'll eat 9, 10, 11 and the rest of your team. (Disclaimer: The joke above is only applicable when he plays for Liverpool)"
"My dad would always say this, I don't know if this classifies as a joke, but it's funny I'm busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest Also: That smell could knock a buzzard off a shitpile"
"So a woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."
"Remember those girls in college who neatly highlighted all of their text books in pink? They work at the cosmetic counter at Macy's now."
"How do you get 50 little old ladies to scream FUCK at the same time? Have the 51st scream BINGO!"
"I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots."
"There's something actionable in your pants."
"Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings."
"I'll be getting a 4.0 this semester... When a girl rates me out of 10"