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Joke of the Day

"Remember those girls in college who neatly highlighted all of their text books in pink? They work at the cosmetic counter at Macy's now."

"Don't judge me until you've scrolled a mile through my meme collection"

"I don't know why, but books about medicine are hilarious. The section about urinary tract infections made me pee my pants."

"Q: Why is Bill Clinton called ""middle of the road Democrat""? A: Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back."

"What's the difference between a 12 year old grill and a 12 year old girl? The grill doesn't cry when you use it to satisfy your meaty desires."

"Advanced OCD I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order; like they should be."

"What did the window say when it was cracked? Well this is a pane in my glass."

"What do you do when you see a bloody Mexican in your garbage can? Quit laughing, and reload."

"Turning 30 is like fucking your sister Your dad wishes he could do it again."

"In history class we got to read on a WW2 topic of our choice. I chose the Manhattan Project. I heard it was the bomb."