191156
Joke of the Day
"There's something actionable in your pants."
Next Joke
"The year is 2044. After trillions of dollars and thousands of lives lost, the SpaceX program lands a man on Mars. Mars: I have a boyfriend"
"I bet if Amy Winehouse had changed her name to Amy Lemonadehouse, she'd still be alive today."
"Cops: ""Please step out of the car"" Me: ""I can't. I'm drunk. You get in."""
"Somebody finally complimented me on my parking today! I got a note on my windshield that said ""Parking Fine""."
"McDonald's serves up 1 billion ""abortions on toast"" They've sold 1 billion of [these](http://i.imgur.com/d9CDgON.jpg)...the egg-mcmuffin"
"Once you've seen an Elephant attacked by a lion... You've seen a maul."
"How do programmers get a sixpack? int[][] abs = new int[2][3]"
"What is Jesus' favorite gun? A nail gun I'm going to hell"
"I'll do your taxes for free if you tell my mom we're dating."