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Joke of the Day

"I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots."

"Why was the computer stressed out when it got home? Because it had a hard drive."

"What did Jay Z say when his friend died? No Biggie."

"Dear parents with unattended children they will be given 4 red bulls and a kazoo"

"A guy walks into a bar and asks ""Do you serve lawyers?"" The bartender responds ""Yes, of course!"" The man then says ""Well then. I'll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator."""

"To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy."

"I'm ""whenever my mother calls, I think it's because someone's dead"" years old."

"Why does everybody hate tampons? They're stuck up bitches."

"Yo mama's so dumb... She heard it was chilly outside and ran and got a bowl"

"When a blonde goes to London on a plane how can you steal her window seat ? Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row"