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Joke of the Day

"On a scale of 1 to 10... How would you rate binary code?"

"How to test your dog's IQ A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: If you spend $19.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you."

"""I hate you but I'm not in hate with you."" - Murderer delicately explaining why he left a victim with only a light stabbing"

"*At the bank Robber:THIS IS A STICKUP! Me:Looks like a gun R:SHUT UP! M:Well, 'THIS IS A GUN' is way scarier Teller:He's got a point"

"What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar? Log jam."

"Congress always makes me feel nostalgic for college when I waited for the last minute to do shitty work and blame anyone but myself."

"Better Luck Next Year Kiddo! I'm going to give my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying ""Toys not included."""

"Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea."

"When you whistle at a bird, it's as offensive to them as saying ""ching chong ding dong"" to a Chinese person."

"I can't come into work. I opened a cursed sarcophagus and now I gotta put a pharaoh's soul to rest. I DUNNO, TAD, I'LL PROBABLY BE IN MONDAY"