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Joke of the Day

"When you whistle at a bird, it's as offensive to them as saying ""ching chong ding dong"" to a Chinese person."

"I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay."

"What do you say when you get swindled by an Egyptian tour guide? Egypt me!"

"Why does Michael Jackson like 26 year Olds? Because there are twenty of them."

"How can you tell if a clock is hungry? it goes back 4 seconds"

"Going to start a band called The Subtweets. All songs will contain cryptic lyrics that incite paranoia in the crowd."

"Women love to say ""sexy AF"" or ""hot AF"" on Twitter .... If I'd known being in the Air Force was that hot...I'd have stayed in !"

"How can you spot the blind man at the nude beach? It ain't hard"

"You know who is lazy to type?"

"Don't worry about choosing between a job you love & one that pays money because you won't be able to find either"