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Joke of the Day

"Fred: Where does the new kid come from? Harry: Alaska. Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself."

"Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink."

"What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know, and I don't care one way or the other."

"An Englishman, a Scotsman, and a rabbi walk into a bar And the rabbi says, ""Hey, wait a minute... I think I'm in the wrong joke."""

"[job interview] Says here you're good with nicknames? ""I don't wanna brag Super Cool Interviewer Man"" *under his breath* holy shit he's good"

"If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn't 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?"

"How do you say constipated in German? Fahfrompoopin"

"Two balloons are floating across the desert One balloon says to the other, Look out for the cactussssssssssssssssssss!"

"Cruz picked Fiorina as his running mate. She probably gives better head than Kasich."

"I just discovered that Australia has a Canada day each year on 26 of May https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Sorry_Day"