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Joke of the Day

"Fred: Where does the new kid come from? Harry: Alaska. Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself."

"Why did the blonde have a sore belly-button? Because she had a blond boyfriend."

"Go ahead, call the cops, lady. I got ten witnesses that'll say your baby kicked me first."

"How do you tell the circumference of a pecan Pecan pi"

"Why does a hummingbird hum? It forgot the lyrics."

"I was walking past the supermarket when I saw a sign saying, ""All items: a third off."" I bought a dozen eggs but unfortunately 4 of them were bad."

"I went to Oklahoma recently ,It was pretty ok"

"Chewbacca started a website that exposed all the secrets of the Empire, it's called Wookieeleaks."

"Make sure you tip your waitress... It's very funny when they fall over."

"How do you know if a fortune-teller is shit? You knock on her door and she shouts ""Who is it?""."