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Joke of the Day

"Make sure you tip your waitress... It's very funny when they fall over."

"Would a gay shop owner decline service to straights? No, because gay people aren't fucking assholes"

"I was supposed to make a Mayweather joke but it ran away."

"What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys? Coach."

"What does gasoline taste like? I don't know, I'm in a coma."

"Did you hear about the italian chef? He pasta way"

"America is finally getting around to banning some dangerous weapons after the latest mass shooting Its a shame nobody was killed by a flag"

"Usain Bolt doesn't know shit bout speed compared to a parent putting their hand over their kids mouth when they see someone w/ an eye patch."

"The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I tweeted ""Help, I am in an Iranian prison"" everyone would be like ""haha good one"""

"[NBA Postgame] *LeBron wearing his fake glasses* ""Questions? Yes, Lois Lane from Daily Planet"" ""Yeah hi. I'll wait til LeBron comes out"""