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Joke of the Day

"I was walking past the supermarket when I saw a sign saying, ""All items: a third off."" I bought a dozen eggs but unfortunately 4 of them were bad."

"Why did the cheese maker not enjoy the movie? <in a Dutch accent> Not much Gouda"

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... And the bartender goes ""why the long face"""

"I like my coffee how I like my women Sweet and with a cream topping."

"A man and a fortune teller make a compromise and reach a happy medium."

"African swimmer"

"What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid? Gotta lay off the sea-weed."

"What do Hillary and Bill have in common? Both got screwed out of office"

"What's the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What *the* fuck! and What *a* fuck!"

"Toronto Police have found a head, hands, and a foot in a river. There are no theories yet but the hokey pokey has not been ruled out."