39079

Joke of the Day

"I was walking past the supermarket when I saw a sign saying, ""All items: a third off."" I bought a dozen eggs but unfortunately 4 of them were bad."

"Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire ? It bit his neck sucked his blood and said 'Who's a pretty boy then ?'!"

"There CAN be a Beatles reunion!! All we need are 2 bullets."

"(this joke is fucked)whats the difference between a baby and a water melon? When u eat a water melon you leave the skin"

"Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because their plugged into a genius! "

"Growing up, my parents nicknamed by penis 'Eamonn' I never managed to get all my pee in the bowl."

"What do ghosts like about riding horses? Ghoulloping."

"I like my wine like I like my women. 10 years old and locked in a wooden crate in my basement."

"There's so many things trendy now that haven't been popular for a century now... Beards, suspenders, home-births, natural produce, measles..."

"What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio ? Collie-wood !"