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Joke of the Day

"Fatherhood Tip : If there's puke in your coat pocket and poop on your shoulder, you're holding the baby upside down."

"A new hipster coffee shop in my hood doesn't have wifi b/c it wants to encourage talking...presumably about the failure of this coffee shop."

"what did the strong bee say to the weak bee? beehold my power"

"What Is Difference Between Bomb And Condom.? What Is Difference Between Bomb And Condom.? # # # # # In A Bomb Blast Population Decrease.. * But. . * In A Condom Blast Population Increase..!"

"How do programmers get a sixpack? int[][] abs = new int[2][3]"

"Girl, I like you so much, I might even let you hold my phone....some day, while its locked"

"Having gay parents must be horrible You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of ""go ask your mom"""

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather Not screaming in terror like his passengers"

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... ...then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids. - Jimmy Carr"

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Hodor. Hodor who? *Hooodoooor!*"