214272

Joke of the Day

"3 database admins walked into a nosql bar A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table"

"today a 6 yr old girl asked me if butterflies are flowers that escaped & i was like yo what is yr twitter handle"

"You gotta hand it to short people. Because their arms can't reach."

"Ants can lift something 50 times their body weight. Wow. That means you can lift a leaf. Cool. I could do that when I was 14. Tiny idiots."

"Say I'm a man after reading a line I scored a chick I brought her home I got her in my bed Then she said:"

"The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3+ hours."

"What's the difference between a zit and a priest? Zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums in your face."

"Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents job."

"A guy walks into a bar with a bit of asphalt. He walks up to the bar tender and says 'I'll have a beer and one for the road'."

"""Move miss, please get out of the way. Please get out of the way, miss. Please get out of the way.""- Ludacris's cousin, Kurteous"