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Joke of the Day

"today a 6 yr old girl asked me if butterflies are flowers that escaped & i was like yo what is yr twitter handle"

"Did you hear about the man with no penis? He went home and gave his wife a right bollocking."

"Worrying is so stupid. It's like carrying an umbrella waiting for it to rain."

"I named my first dog ""What"". Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked ""What is the name of your first pet?"" and I kept answering ""Yes."""

"If the rapper Logic had an evil twin... His name would be Psycho-Logic."

"My mother said that I looked ""cheap"" with my bra showing underneath my clothes - so I took my bra off."

"What did the white guy see when he looked at his family tree? A straight line."

"When pigs fly they will have the most delicious wings."

"I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger Then it hit me."

"Hey traveling businessmen, no need to put a lock on your carry-on. No one wants your briefcase full of boring."