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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar with a bit of asphalt. He walks up to the bar tender and says 'I'll have a beer and one for the road'."

"I just read that a veteran policeman has been suspended from his job... after being caught masturbating and smoking weed in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer."

"I love sex. O wait, guess it's not a joke."

"A lady friend asked me back to her place to chat about conspiracy theories... Orwell, you know."

"They say drugs will hurt your long term memory but I kind of take pride in needing to Google the proper spelling of ""Bieber"" every damn time"

"So a Mexican sneaks across the border into America And the border patrol officer says ""Oh no not again"""

"Who's the roundest knight at King Arthur's court? Circumference."

"Deep Love no matter how deeply you love someone, you cannot express it more than six inches deep"

"My air fresheners for insane people got turned down... They said there wasn't any cents in making scents for people who don't make sense"

"Why can't PC gamers use Uber? Too many incompatible drivers."