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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar with a bit of asphalt. He walks up to the bar tender and says 'I'll have a beer and one for the road'."

"Spelling Errors? I don't do that typo thing."

"There's nothing more annoying than someone trying to live by their values"

"A duck was found dead on the sidewalk today... The autopsy revealed he overdosed on quack."

"A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman ""Can I park here?"" ""No"" says the cop. ""What about all these other cars?"" ""They didn't ask!"""

"What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking? A leave of absinthe."

"Looks like the heavy bag of sirloins fell off the top shelf, landing on the butchers head, and killing him. Looks like the steaks *shades* were too high. YEAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"It's disturbing that when we see a man's mustache fall off we assume it's an identity theft situation and not a medical emergency"

"What's harder than beating Alabama twice? Beating LSU once, Geaux Tigers!!!"

"A a few States in the south celebrate MLK and Robert E Lee day on the third Monday in January. They are working to separate them."