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Joke of the Day

"The asterisk was invented by someone seeing a cat's butt and thinking that it would make a great punctuation mark. It was almost a catastrophe."

"The blind girl I was getting a handjob from told me I had the biggest dick she'd ever put her hands on. I said, ""Nah, you're just pulling my leg""."

"Two medical students are about to witness an autopsy for the first time... One asks the other, ""What do you think it'll be like?"" The other student shrugs and says, ""Remains to be seen""."

"I bought a Chris Brown's greatest hits album. It was just a bunch of Rihanna songs."

"A Jewish girl says to her dad ""Dad, I need fifty dollars."" Her dad looks at her and says ""Forty dollars, what do you need thirty dollars for?"""

"Why did the Baker rob the Banker? Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk"

"Daddy, what do you think about abortion? Dad: ask your sister. But I don't have a.."

"What song do you sing if you're not a fan of Christmas? Sigh-lent night"

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it. I'll show myself out."

"Dopted Dad: Have you seen an animal named Dopted? Son: What's a Dopted? Dad: You are. You're adopted."