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Joke of the Day

"After getting out of jury duty, it dawned on me that our nation's trials are decided by 12 people too stupid to get out of jury duty."

"Relationship status: can't go to the same bar as last night, because I'm wearing the same shirt as last night."

"My friend had a testicle removed after finding a lump. He's very serious when it comes to mashed potatoes."

"What do you call a self-absorbed trumpet player? Brasshole"

"Today, the tree my family planted 15 years ago died and had to be cut down. I'm mourning wood."

"Wanna hear a short joke ? Wanna hear another one ?"

"What do ""white privilege"" and ""severely mentally handicapped"" have in common? Both terms are almost universally misunderstood by the people to whom they apply."

"I just drilled a bunch of holes It was a lot of boring work."

"Oscar Pistorious wanted to buy a new bathroom door His girlfriend was dead against is"

"First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No I'm having a witch do. First boy: What's a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."