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Joke of the Day

"I just drilled a bunch of holes It was a lot of boring work."

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"Why are there only two hundred and thirty nine beans in a bowl of bean soup? Because just one more and it would be two-farty"
"There is really no easy way to say it, ma'am, but your son has just fallen into the Eyjafjallajokull."
"Girl, You're like the devil. Hot as hell and horny."
"TIL the band Tenacious D didn't actually sing the greatest song in the world It was just a tribute"
"Girl: Do you have protection? Me: Um like a sword?"
"If you had a choice between owning a dragon or world peace, what would you name your dragon?"
"Peter Pan and the Lost Boys are actually the souls of aborted kids That explains Captain Hook"
"A polar bear walks into a bar Sez, ""l'll take a gin .... [ ] .... ..... and tonic."" Bartender sez, ""Why the big pause""?"
"The autopsy is going to show that the elevator tried to bring Prince down. Go crazy."