86294

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a self-absorbed trumpet player? Brasshole"

"Fun fact about Germany... Fooled ya... There's nothing funny about Germany"

"In retrospect, dressing as a killer whale when I was assigned to assassinate the Pope wasn't my best idea. I blame Ubisoft, honestly."

"What is the definition of irony? Having a democratic debate in a city that was destroyed by over 50 years of democratic rule."

"My friend asked me ""what's worse, ignorance or apathy?"" I replied, ""I don't know and I don't care""."

"What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours? Skip to the next track"

"Q: Why did the little girl bury her flashlight? A: Her batteries were dead."

"Well if you didn't want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?"

"Romans were rich, Romans had feasts! But for the love of god stay away from their priests!"

"According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ."