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Joke of the Day

"Reeva Steenkamp deserved to be shot she shouldn't have been using the disabled toilet. Jimmy Carr."

"That awkward moment when you're trying to get over someone you were never dating."

"What do you call a Mexican church? A Taco bell."

"There are only two types of people in this world... Those who can't extrapolate from incomplete data."

"How do you know a cat is ready to leave? He makes a fe-line for the door."

"Confusing prank: Obtain a grizzly bear, name it Love then call 911 and say that Love is tearing you apart"

"I am a massive massive MASSIVE worrier. I can't stress enough."

"Did you hear about that really successful scarecrow? He is well known for being outstanding in his field."

"Sales clerk: That handbag is very pleasing to the eye. Customer: Really? I don't like it. Giant Disembodied Eye: YOU REALLY SHOULD BUY IT"

"Imagine the havoc if raccoons could fly. Rotund shadows grow larger over a pizza guy moments before he's swarmed by snarling, handsy demons."