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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a rubber band Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!"

"An infinite number of mathematicians walks into a bar... The first order 1 beer, the second 2 beers, the third 3, and so on... The bartender doesn't pour anything and say ""Yall own me 1/12 of a beer"""

"When somebody unfollows me, I want to go on a shopping spree and walk into their house while holding bags and say, ""Big mistake. Big. Huge!"""

"What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!"

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAND EYEEEEEEEEEE"

"Good news, people in 3rd world countries, suffering inexplicable hardships- Amy from fb says god won't give you more than you can handle."

"Sometimes I just tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward That's just how I roll"

"Someone asked me if I used mustache wax. I said no, but it helps to have a runny nose."

"How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest."

"Grim Reaper: I'm here for the sole! Waiter: *whimpering* omg can I... can I say bye to my family? Grim Reaper: uh, no, the fish special."