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Joke of the Day

"I like my steak how I like my women Tinder-ized."

"A skeleton goes to the bar and says ""Can I have a pint and a mop..."""

"I know a joke... that's so dark the police almost shot it."

"Where do swashbuckling turds come from? A pirates booty"

"Listening to Katy Perry is like fucking a fat person... It is fun, it is easy, but you don't want others to know you do it."

"Olympic Results for Sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal. The French have taken the Silver medal. The Somalians have taken the boats."

"ABORTION BILL A congressional aide asks a politician, ""What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"" The politician replied, ""Shhhhh -- just pay it."""

"How did the mathematician deal with his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil"

"So a Scottish man is talking to his angry girlfriend.... She goes, ""How many other girls have you had sex with?"" The Scotsman starts counting in his head, but after the 12th sheep, he falls asleep."

"Q: What word begins with the letter ""F"" and ends in ""UCK""? A: FIRETRUCK."