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Joke of the Day
"A skeleton goes to the bar and says ""Can I have a pint and a mop..."""
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"What does it take to break a Nokia phone? Microsoft."
"*lays down on memory foam mattress* mattress: remember that time you pooped your pants in 3rd grade? me: I regret buying you"
"How do you spot Will Smith on a snowy Christmas morning? Look for Fresh Prince"
"Friends are a lot like trees... They fall down when hit multiple times with an axe."
"If Donald Trump becomes the President of the United States of America... ...there will be hell toupee!"
"Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone's cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons."
"This watch means a lot to me, I got it from my Jewish Grandfather He sold it to me on his deathbed."
"Who the hell decided to say ""No Butt Sex"" Instead of Ignoranus"
"Cell phone, I don't know why you keep capitalizing TEQUILA but I like the way you party."