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Joke of the Day

"Saw my ex today getting beaten by 5 guys so I went there to help She couldn't stand against the six of us"

"I don't believe my friend's story about the time he fit a whole watermelon up his ass. It's just too much of a stretch."

"What did one tree say to the other? Nothing. They bark."

"My friend asked me, ""What is a palindrome?"" I said, ""No, it's not."""

"The past, present, and future walks into a bar. It was tense."

"My girlfriend is like Pi. Completely irrational."

"An officer gets shot in a marijuana raid..."

"My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess... So I hired paparazzi to follow her and she died in a car accident."

"10: What does AF mean? After Flossing. Now go brush your teeth and they will be clean AF. Why do you ask? 10: Mom said you were lazy AF."

"How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers? Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?"