212034

Joke of the Day

"The ONE time I actually want to say ""duck"", damn you autocorrect! ""Sorry again! I'd love to join the preschool field trip to the DUCK pond"""

"Have you read the book about anti-gravity? Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down."

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? ""Aye matey!"""

"Don't have phone sex Because you'll get hearing aids"

"longest word in the English language - Funny but logical What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"""

"What happens when a Jewish man with an erection walks into a wall? He breaks his nose."

"I swallowed a Ice Cube and I haven't pooped it out yet, I'm really scared you guys."

"What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him"

"What do you get when a horse's food comes to know Jesus? Christian Bale"

"Why would someone name a dog ""pistachio""? Because they're nuts"