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Joke of the Day

"The ONE time I actually want to say ""duck"", damn you autocorrect! ""Sorry again! I'd love to join the preschool field trip to the DUCK pond"""

"My dad beat me so hard. Our priest asked him for some tips."

"After seeing some of the things posted on /r/Jokes lately, I believe it's time someone finally said something. Something."

"I just shaved my legs for the first time in 2 weeks so if you will come clean out my tub I won't judge u for making a beautiful rug"

"""I got this."" Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained."

"Hash browns not tags."

"Obligatory Light Bulb Do you know how many librarians it takes to screw in a light bulb? No, but I know where you can look it up!"

"My brother forgot his apple today. Until he was rear-ended by a doctor."

"Why did god invent the yeast infection? So women would know what it's like living with an irritating cunt."

"In a perfect world a ""Party Pooper"" would be someone who could shoot confetti out of their butt."