212023

Joke of the Day

"Every day I learn something new as a parent. Today I learned I can't sit through my daughter's violin recital without a desire to die."

"Who is the coolest guy in the Hospital? A. The Ultra Sound guy. Q. Who is the second coolest? A. The Hip replacement dude."

"What are the three rings of marriage? The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and then the suffering"

"Rabbits who hang out in indie pet stores are hopsters."

"You know you're good when they have to add an amendment to the company handbook cause they never thought anyone would do what you did"

"I could never be a hardcore gangsta rapper because there's probably a limit to how much you can enjoy a scone in public."

"whats the worst part about cooking vegetables? putting the wheelchair into the oven."

"Statically, 1 in every 10 people live next to a pedophile. Not me though, I live next to a little boy with a fat ass"

"The Bank of America app randomly disappeared off my phone and now I'm wondering how much money I spent last night."

"I'm experiencing heavy call volumes. Please hang up and never call me again."