225337

Joke of the Day

"Who is the coolest guy in the Hospital? A. The Ultra Sound guy. Q. Who is the second coolest? A. The Hip replacement dude."

"I finally decided to unfollow someone who hasn't tweeted in a year. They'll probably come back tomorrow & make me look like a real c**t."

"Where did Sadam Hussein keep his CD collection? In Iraq."

"Why Donald Trump will not release his tax returns even though it seriously jeopardizes his presidential campaign? No **Juan** should know how much money he has, country needs to build the wall first."

"Kid: ""Mom, am I ugly?"" Mom: ""I told you not to call me mom in public."""

"Why is Chicago called the Windy City? Because Indiana sucks and Wisconsin blows"

"Why hasn't the Rastafarian gone to see the barber? He's dreading it."

"How is religion like a penis? You can have a penis, and you can be proud of your penis, but don't shove your penis in my face."

"How do small people call each other? On microphones."