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Joke of the Day

"Girl:want to have a good time Guy:sure Girl:for you its free"

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said ""attentive lovers""... ...actually she might have said ""A tent of lovers"", I don't really listen to her needs and opinions."

"My grandpa has a heart of a lion... ... and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada."

"Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote."

"What does a duck call a tractor? A quacktor"

"What has a million legs but can't walk? Jerry's Kids."

"In soviet Russia, shop boys pet you! You're welcome."

"What is the fakest part of Skyrim? The fact that red guards can swim."

"I've started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof."