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Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said ""attentive lovers""... ...actually she might have said ""A tent of lovers"", I don't really listen to her needs and opinions."

"A lot of schools are back in session. Remember if you study hard enough there will still be no jobs when you graduate."

"Why do men give their penises names? Because they don't want a total stranger making 90% of their decisions."

"My wife caught me measuring my dick. Embarrassing! It reached just to the back of her sister's throat."

"Funny Jokes, I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Ever hear about the Jesus Bomb? Red bull and merlot"

"Do you know the difference between a strip club and an elementary school? If you dont your a sick mothafucker!!!"

"Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness? - He refused becuase he hadn't seen the accident."

"Around my neighborhood I'm affectionately known as ""Please stop taking pictures of my flowers you weirdo."""

"Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't run for President... It's only because he's Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power..."