76144

Joke of the Day

"What does a duck call a tractor? A quacktor"

"I'm not homeless, but a lot of homeless things happen to me."

"I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig .. It's not a beautiful poem but it's really deep."

"Hey wanna hear a fat joke? [deleted]"

"What is the plural of manatee? Menatee"

"When you say, ""9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans,"" all I hear is, ""There's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."""

"Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. Or going to a 7am meeting where my client will ream my ass and I'll just suck up to him. Whatever."

"What did the man with a 10inch dick have for breakfast? I didn't think you would know, but I had steak and eggs."

"I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they're going to expire in 2017."

"I'm going to protect my tweets on Christmas this year so Santa can't ""know when I'm not sleeping or know when I'm awake."" Take that!"