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Joke of the Day

"Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote."

"""911"" ""Hello, my wife was cooking and she fell"" ""What's the emergency?"" ""How long before the rice is ready?"""

"What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning? Thanks I needed that."

"Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!"

"You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body."

"How do you comfort a grammar Nazi? ""...They're, their, there."""

"Bruce Willis in Starbucks. he gives his name as ""not Bruce Willis"" and when they call him he grabs his coffee and runs away giggling"

"Hey, you wanna hear a joke? Ya, so do I."

"ISIS is stuck between Iraq and a hard place."

"Found out one of my best friend is a prostitute... Now I see her in a completely different light"