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Joke of the Day

"If people were as passionate about world affairs as they are about their opinions on tattoos, we'd be on WWVIII by now."

"When you are trying to get out of the aisle at the movies, and you have to pass by people, do you give them the nut or the butt?"

"Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop? 5: *doesn't look up* I already know them."

"Let's talk about sausage.... Isn't it the wurst?"

"what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? nsfw an erection"

"My own joke that I'm incredibly proud of: What kind of weather do Black Prince tomatoes grow best in? Purple Rain"

"There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't"

"Is the EU working out? It lost a few pounds this summer."

"Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter? Because he'd drop everything"

"Being iced in for 2 days gave me the opportunity to get so much housework done! I didn't do any of it. But I certainly had the opportunity."