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Joke of the Day

"[buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely"

"What happened to the Oklahoma Territories? I don't know but they're OK now."

"Waiter, there's a spider in my pie. I thought you had an ""award winning chef"" *waiter points to MOST CUSTOMERS KILLED BY PIE SPIDERS trophy*"

"What did the wife say to the husband? Beats me \_()_/ "

"Knock knock..I eat mop Thats nasty."

"I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said ""Be an organ donor!""... They were doing 20 in a 30. I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause."

"Did you hear about the man from the experimental group that was arrested? He was out of control."

"The first computer can be traced back as far as Adam and Eve It was an Apple with extremely limited memory: just one bite. Then everything crashed."

"My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle."

"My therapy group is a joke. The doctor is supposed to match you with people you have something in common with but everyone here is nuts."