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Joke of the Day

"Why is Jesus terrible in bed? Because it takes three days for him to rise again, and two thousand years to come twice."

"[Dog Court] Judge: How do you find the defendant? Jury: We find the defendant, not a good boy. *dogs family in courtroom begins to cry*"

"Why was the broom late? It overswept!"

"One of the fake rooms at Ikea should just be a couple fighting as they try to put the furniture together"

"You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked."

"Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service."

"What do you call it when your Arab parents disaprove of your girlfriend? Harambe"

"What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree? Poll tree!"

"I was in the park wondering why a frisby looks bigger the closer it gets And then it hit me."

"We're throwing a surprise retirement party for a guy at the office and the ""party"" isn't the surprise."