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Joke of the Day
"How much is 5Q and 5Q? 10Q. ""You're welcome. """
Next Joke
"""I have a particular set of spills,"" Liam Neeson says, eyeing his soiled shirt. He looks for a napkin but the last one's already been Taken."
"A female friend of mine recently got Tinder. Tinder: Where ""Get laid tonight"" isn't just something you see on pornsite banner ads."
"Why do blondes have bruises around their belly buttons? Because blonde guys are stupid too."
"What does a mathematician do when he is constipated? He works it out with a pencil."
"A feminist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."
"Why did the Hippy Drown? he was tooooo faaaaaaar oouuuuutttt maaaaaannnn"
"What's a good comeback for a women when she's asked to get her husband a sandwich? She better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
"I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b"
"A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: ""A beer please, and one for the road."""