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Joke of the Day

"What does a cat say when he likes something? It's purrrfect."

"Why periods? Why can't mother nature just tweet me and be like ""Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to you next month"""

"Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne."

"WAYS TO KILL 2 BIRDS W/ 1 STONE 1 Ricochet 2 Retrieve, rethrow 3 Line up birds precisely 4 Huge boulder 5 Use lovebirds, 2nd dies of grief"

"Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans."

"Dear keyboard, They may touch you, but they can't take their eyes off of me. Sincerely, monitor."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they just beat the room for being black."

"Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left? (Really?) Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left?"

"I used to hate Vegemite, but I read that you only need to put a thin spread to enjoy it It's been much better. The cat is eating the whole thing now."

"You know what I like about bathroom humor? It's funny shit!"