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Joke of the Day

"I used to hate Vegemite, but I read that you only need to put a thin spread to enjoy it It's been much better. The cat is eating the whole thing now."

"Restraining order Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate? He kept trying to plunder her booty."

"Did you hear that some aquatic mammals escaped from the zoo? It was otter chaos!"

"What does the fan of a shitty rock band, which canceled a gig in his city, say? ""I want my Nickel back!"""

"If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon."

"How can you tell when a drummer's at the door? He doesn't know when to come in"

"My neighbourhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer for 6 years. I never knew he was a barber."

"My dog kept digging holes in the back yard... ..so I hide all the shovels"

"My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick Especially since his name is Steve"

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a Vagina? A vagina is attatched to Bill Clintons wife"