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Joke of the Day

"This girl I know has started saying ""true story"" after everything which is interesting because I've never murdered before."

"North Korea says it's gonna terror attack South Korea. I don't have a punchline, that's just really funny."

"What the difference between a hippo and a zippo A hippo is heavy, but a zippo is a little lighter."

"A friend described me as a 'no maintenance' type And I have no idea whether to be happy or offended"

"I just really hate it when people start assuming things.nnnJust like my boss he assumes that I'm working just because I came to work today."

"My girlfriend is in Mexico for vacation and if she has a Juan night stand while she's down there, her and I are totally done."

"Just put some trousers on I last wore at a wedding in 2001 and found a Nokia 3210 in the back pocket. It's still got 2 bars of battery on it."

"I've bought tickets to all One Directions upcoming gigs.They're not my cup of tea but the tickets say The Doors open at 7:15 and i love them"

"I don't think gymnasts know how clearly we can see their genitals"

"The ultimate collection of jokes about Uranus! http://www.nottriangles.com/blog/uranus.html"