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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between a hippo and a zippo A hippo is heavy, but a zippo is a little lighter."

"When women go to the restroom together that's so you can make out, right?"

"Ladies, if a man doesn't answer your ""What are you doing tonight?"" text till it's already night time, you're Plan B."

"Babies are terrible at running their own small businesses."

"A snowstorm knocked out the power of a black man's house, so he went out to investigate. He's the only blackout in a whiteout."

"To make a delicious omlette... you must be an eggspert."

"80% of making $120 million is just showing up."

"Why was being a soprano a requirement to becoming a pirate? It made it easier to deal with high C's"

"Who was the roundest member of Sir Arthurs round table? Sir Cumference. He at too much Pi. He ate approximately 3.142 slices"

"Toddlers & Ghosts -haunt you at all hours -lots of moaning/screaming -unclear motives -not helpful with housework -randomly open cupboards"