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Joke of the Day

"What did the judge say to the repeat sex offender at his arraignment? [Damn, Daniel - back at it again with the white van.](http://therealcape.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/white-van-png.jpg)"

"A man on his death bed smells cookies, gets up and walks into his kitchen. He asks his wife if he can have a cookie. The wife tells him to get out of here, those are for the wake"

"2 halloweens ago I was brutally owned by a small child when I answered my door in normal clothes and she said ""nice lumberjack costume."""

"Me: My stomach hurts. WebMD: You're a kid, trying to get out of something."

"We think you may have a phobia of marriage Doctor: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? Me: I can't say I do. Doctor: That's one of the symptoms, yes."

"What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? The kind that's always shooting his mouth off."

"this guy was telling my friend from puerto rico trump was gonna deport him and send him back to mexico I never laughed my ass off so hard."

"The longer you sleep the more sleep you need. The more you eat the bigger is your appetite."

"Why was the ghost sad on Halloween? He ain't have no boo"

"What's your best one-liner?"