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Joke of the Day

"A man on his death bed smells cookies, gets up and walks into his kitchen. He asks his wife if he can have a cookie. The wife tells him to get out of here, those are for the wake"

Next Joke
 
"Why did the baker have brown fingers? Because he kneaded a shit."
"I keep forgetting - which Disney princess is it who solves all her own problems without trying to find a boyfriend?"
"Me: Shut the door, I need privacy 4y/o: But we're family! Me: Families don't watch each other go poop 4:You watch me poop! Me:...take a seat"
"Two space shuttle crews watched Felix Baumgartner and thought: ""WE COULD HAVE HAD PARACHUTES?"""
"Laura Bassett must be an alcoholic... She couldn't even wait for the game to finish before she hit the bar!"
"What do you call Batman when he skips Church? Christian Bale."
"a cauliflower is a plant explosion in extremeley slow motion"
"One direction splitting up? My daughter just announced to me she is in d-Niall :-)"
"An old married couple wins 10 million dollars from the lottery. ""What shall we do with all these letters begging for money?"" the woman asks her husband. ""Keep sending them!"""