208517

Joke of the Day

"Once I made the mistake of telling Jesus to take the wheel on a Sunday. Once."

"I asked a New Zealander how many sexual partners he'd had He started counting but then fell asleep."

"Sometimes I end up watching cartoons after my kids have left the room. On a related note, has anyone seen my kids?"

"Retweet this and you'll go to heaven. Yes, the standards are now that low."

"Why do Sumo Wrestler's shave their bodies? So that they don't get mistaken for feminists"

"Did you hear about the new Italian tires? Dago here, dago there, and when dago flat, dago wop wop wop."

"Stealing being illegal is why I can't have nice things."

"Q: What do men and sperm have in common? A:They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being."

"I hope my girlfriend enjoys long, romantic walks... ...because I don't have a car."

"I lost my wife in a bet I bet I could sleep with her sister"