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Joke of the Day

"I had children for two reasons; I wanted to start a loving family, and I needed a quick excuse to leave things."

"What does Mortal Kombat and a Helsinki church have in common? Finnish hymns"

"Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings."

"Why are gay guys good helpers when moving? They know how to pack your shit."

"Why don't golddiggers eat fruit? An apple a day keeps the doctors away"

"How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes?"

"Left handed people can't do anything right. That... that's it. That's the joke. You don't get it? Then you're probably left handed."

"I think some drugs should be legalized... but cocaine is where I draw the line."

"it says here you got fired from Olive Garden because you kept saying ""pasta la vista, baby"" to people. why would you put that on a resume"

"What do Paul Walker and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall"