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Joke of the Day

"I saw a man the other day arguing with a traffic sign The sign looked incredibly uncomfortable. It really wanted him to Stop."

"Originally I didn't like having a beard but then it grew on me."

"[teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] ""Scorpio's drink water when they're thirsty"" OMG THIS IS SO ME"

"I love how insurance companies offer ""accident forgiveness"" like they're some sort of ancient deity pardoning your existence."

"What's white, but has a black asshole? The Whitehouse."

"What do you call a pile of cats? A meowntain."

"I'd tell a chemestry joke but I'm afraid I wouldn't get a reaction."

"My girlfriend is adorable, smart, sexy, and looking over my shoulder as I type."

"Are news anchors secretly insulting you? Moron this story at 11."

"Why was Michael Jackson always late for meetings? Because he was always coming in a little behind."