207030
Joke of the Day
"One time I got so high that I accidentally got a job at McDonald's."
Next Joke
"All the single ladies. All the single ladies. All the single ladies. Now put your hands up! Lol. But seriously, ladies. This is a robbery."
"Last week I fought for a woman's honor Apparently she wanted to keep it."
"A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor says to him ""you need to stop masturbating."" The man asks ""why?"" The doctor replies ""because i'm trying to examine you."""
"[speed dating] Me: Periods. Her: Huh? Me: Do they go inside the quotation mark or outside? Her: In the US or the UK? Me: Let's get married."
"Someone told me today that I'm pretentious... Moi!?!?"
"The Special Olympics is like Nascar. You're not watching it for the race..."
"What do you call an Argentinian victim of grand theft auto? Carlos"
"Four men are in a boat trying to smoke some cigarettes, but they don't have a lighter. One man throws a cigarette over board and now the whole boat is a cigarette lighter."
"The Samsung Galaxy S7 walks into a bar... But it isn't waterproof so it breaks."