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Joke of the Day

"Four men are in a boat trying to smoke some cigarettes, but they don't have a lighter. One man throws a cigarette over board and now the whole boat is a cigarette lighter."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we shot the last one who had a dream."

"[Bunch of 6 year olds knock on my door] ""TRICK OR TREAT!"" You kids are in for a real treat... *slips each of them a copy of my demo tape*"

"David Bowie = Died at 69 Alan Rickman = Died at 69 Donald Trump = is 69 I think we all understand where this is heading"

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms."

"Murder is legal if it happens after a morning person says ""WELL WELL WELLLLLL LOOK WHO FINALLY GOT UP"""

"If porn is so bad... why are there so many nuns in it?"

"Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs. Courtesy of the St. Louis Zoo Facebook page."

"I'll die fat, drunk & happy while you live healthy until you get run over by a bus... See ya at the cemetery!"

"What's black and doesn't work in an office? Decaf coffee!"