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Joke of the Day
"The Special Olympics is like Nascar. You're not watching it for the race..."
Next Joke
"I appreciate the lemons, but wasn't one of you supposed to teach me how to fish by now?"
"*takes off pants* *crawls into bed* Security Guard- Lady, this is Macy's *crawls out of bed* *puts on pants* SG- Those aren't your pants"
"Did you know that you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water? If it sinks = girl ant. If it floats = buoyant."
"What's the richest kind of air? A millionaire."
"What did the scientist say when he discovered the lowest possible temperature? OK"
"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer... ... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."
"Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said you were leaving at 4:00. Sincerely, The Unicorns"
"This is yr brain. This is yr brain on drugs. *turns page* This is yr brain on the beach at Cancun! Awwww, yr brain on yr honeymoon. *turns p"
"Meanwhile, at the bar: Batman: ""Whisky."" Aquaman: ""Appletini."" ""WHAT?"" ""It's vodka, apple schnapps..."" ""You're off the Justice League."""