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Joke of the Day

"Being the life of the party doesn't mean being the whore of the night."

"I've hit hard times, and to make money I'm going to sell my vacuum cleaner. Because right now it's just gathering dust."

"[first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] ""Dr that's the model skeleton"""

"How to get laid: WALK RIGHT UP TO HER & just get to know her over time until u build mutual affection & the trust to enjoy each other naked"

"OC: after talking with my buddy, I thought of this. how do you know if some does crossfit? They''ll tell you."

"What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !"

"Asked my wife if she would be my friend on FB again, she said no. She said my ""funny"" status updates are annoying. Therefore, I must conclude she loves me for my body..."

"""The entire sky is mine to explore!Nah, Ill just swoop dangerously through traffic instead.""- Birds"

"How did Hitler pick up Jewish girls? With a dustpan..."

"What starts with p and ends in orn Popcorn"