24225

Joke of the Day

"A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers, and says ""five beers, please"" If you get it you get it"

"Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted."

"Tryna get into bondage But I need someone to show me the ropes"

"It's hard to get a lot done when you're busy having a snack every 15 minutes"

"Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] ""Did you say single?"""

"Justice In China."

"I want to get stoned like I cheated on my Iranian husband."

"What do you call someone who smokes two doobies at once? Double jointed. What do you call someone who can smoke three at once? Dead. Don't do drugs."

"""10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You're Going Straight to Hell"" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments"

"I went to the library and asked for a book about small peni$es. The librarian said, ""I'm not sure if it's in yet."" ""Yep, that's the one"", I said."