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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally touched the underside of a public toilet seat with my finger. Well, you had a good run, finger. *chainsaw sound*"

"[x-ray] DOCTOR: wow ME: what DOCTOR: I don't know, there's a bunch of- ME: *eating a handful of pennies* a bunch of what"

"Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping trips? Chihuahua: I like to ""ruff it!"

"why doe s porn hub even have a share to google + button? I dont want any one to know i have a google +..."

"Q: How did Bill Cosby find his daughter in the woods? A: Pretty good"

"I've lost so many friends to babies."

"It's just sad how often I see zookeepers breaking their own ""Don't Feed the Animals"" rule."

"Hub: What time is our movie tonight? Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 ""Back off ladies. He's mine"""

"I can throw rocks further than catapults. I mean, have you ever *tried* throwing a catapult?"

"Dentist: have you been flossing? [ flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip earlier ] Me: yes"