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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bad pun? Punishment."

"I have trained a cup full of meal-worms to give me sexual pleasure... ...I'm a master baiter"

"I combined all my wrist watches to make a belt I guess you could say it was a *waist* of time"

"Officer: I'll need to see a photo ID. Me: (pulling out a selfie at an R.E.M. concert) That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight."

"What do you call a black person flying a plane? A nigg-air!"

"It's funny, when I walk into a spider web I demolish his home and misplace his dinner yet I still feel like the victim."

"What do you get when you cross a baggage handler with a sex offender? [The TSA!](http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ2-l7xEQJqvdPPlN2qABza3Hpfin65EITfmXxRgqx4gj5ajg9mEdVJFhEsjg)"

"Did you hear about the new circumcision clinic opening up? I hear the doctors only work for tips."

"Is there a way to politely throw breathe mints in someone's mouth while they're talking?"

"'Failed to send tweet,' is Twitter's polite way of saying, 'Dude..'"