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Joke of the Day

"Officer: I'll need to see a photo ID. Me: (pulling out a selfie at an R.E.M. concert) That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight."

"What do you call part of a poem written by a Seinfeld character? A George Costanza."

"I don't often tell sailor jokes But when I do they are usually salty."

"Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids? Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney."

"Worst joke I've ever heard What is the difference between Hitler and the Boston Bombers? One of them actually ended a race."

"Everytime I play Monopoly I get this dad joke. http://imgur.com/bbMl41W"

"The worst kind of human contact is ""eye contact through that crack in a bathroom stall when you're pulling up your pants"" contact."

"Adding ""and shit"" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and shit."

"I before E except after C. Yes another myth disproven by science."

"Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave."